Greetings from the shore

It was a special day... at least i try to make it one on my birthday.

Got unconscious from my unconscious state around midnight when the day had just started.. i dint know where were i until the mobile vibrated.. the voice on the other side was not familiar but the strength in the sound took me by surprise...

it was early morning and i hope i needn't explain how it will be after boozing all night. its never easy to get into the conscious state of mind.. it will at least take a while before you even realize that you had thoughts of making it a special day.. this voice had something in it.. i don't know what it was.. precisely saying, i couldn't say or don't get the right words to explain what i felt but it just brought me to consciousness through the express way in the peak hours of the morning.. i could hear my inner voice waking me up to see what i have got here to deal with.. the voice kept on growing in me and at the same time kept me guessing all the way.. though i had more than one answer for whatever she was asking i kept dumb not knowing which one to say.. she finally made me feel at ease when she let me identify the voice.  well then after the next one and a half hour i was totally me.. she was an old mate and she gave me a happy start for the day greeting on my birthday..

the day was totally great. you people know i believe in angels. my instincts directly made me feel she is one among them too.. sometimes i feel sad about those people who had been everything for me on many of my past days but had left me for various reasons.. i have even spent so many days missing them.. but understood missing is just mayhem.. i don't wanna argue who is right or wrong.. i 'm simply thankful to all of you who made each of those days special to me.. i haven't got rid of the devil inside me but at the same time i have never let it conquer my conscious.. it might possess me; my mind for a while.. but never the whole.. never my conscious.. and when these angels fall from the sky i just say to this devil.. " just don't be so devil" and it just puts his head down and walks away.. thank you all.. forgive me if i had been this devil at anytime with you..

October Seven 2011 was a beautiful day.

Live every moment.

love ya

karthik Vasan B

Born for Gods and living with Angels

    It dint take too long for me to realize what I'm.

I know whatever I'm, I'm wholly responsible for it. The good and the bad is just me. the positive and negative is just me. They call me a Brahmin. I'm not an idol worshiper. i don't believe in ramas and krishnas.

born for the man and woman whom i believe had a major part in shaping me into what I'm, might seem as parents to me to this world.. technically yes.. but precisely.. my instincts make me believe they are my gods. to be born along side my brother I'm proud and i feel blessed in this existence to be a part of their lives..

But i often lose myself to the devil inside me. the other side of me. i get angry on myself. feel like why am i living having let this devil take possession of me.. when all the cards turn against me and when I'm neither in nor out... when i feel at no man's land...  when there is no one who could come into me and save my soul... when its all just me whom i have got to bring me back out of this misery and i have forgotten my good instincts and when  I'm utterly mad at myself at the edge of  everything..

well yes.. i know no one outside me can bring down the turmoil inside me to an end.. then arise a question in me.. i ask why are there these people other than me doing here.. why should i share myself with them when they couldn't do what is need  to me.. then one of them comes and kindles the good part of me and bring me back to my senses... what should i call them now.. it will be egoistic not to say a word.. it might seem i give something cos i got something..

but this is deep from my heart and in my right senses..

Born for Gods.. I'm blessed  to have these angels around me..

This is dedicated to all those angels in my life who bring me back to senses and make me live as what I'm.

love you all.

this moment is so beautiful.

karthik vasan b.

Man.. U do possess a good heart..

You get angry on yourself when you lose your conscious..

but you give yourself another chance to start a new life..

you get angry on others when they don't live their responsibilities..

but you realize that they haven't realized and you give them a let go..

your mind turns egoistic when someone shows anger on you for their own reasons without thinking what you were to them...

but then.. you say to yourself chill man this guy needs even more time..

you see people from backward areas.. even very old people... who never had a chance to realize what a life this is.. who are merged with this materialistic egoistic world...

your instinct says its hard to make these people understand and you feel pity for them..

you get frustrated with the day to day life.. you go to sleep with a broken heart. in the night..

but when you wake up on a new day.. you say life is beautiful and start it fresh..

you do something.. at times even everything to someone with love.. yet you find them happy for Else's sake and you are out of the picture.. you walk away or just step back off the picture with just a feeling that he or she is happy at least..

somebody does something for you out of love and expects something out of you.. but you are totally in a different world.. you are unable to satisfy them nor make them understand you doesn't belong here.. and you find yourself dejected.. ditched.. and in no man's land with all kind of emotions thinking where this life is going..

your are full of energy.. raw..unchannelized..

search is still on to find the way back.. 

but.....

Man... you do possess a good heart..

a good soul is sitting in you..

September 4th was a good day..

this moment is so beautiful..

bless the existence..

karthik vasan b

And then and now i wish i live in pandora

 how we earth people has lost the sense of living..

just we humans... running madly after nothing..

i really wish i was rooted to this earth...

feel how it feels to be sand...

feel how it feels to be wind..

feel how it feels to be water..

feel how it feels to be fire..

smell how lovely to be a flower...

taste how sweet to be a fruit..

feel how wild to be a tiger..

but.. above all...

just live to be a man..

to be a human being with love..

but we are busy running mad after nothing...

I'm searching for my childhood instincts i thought i had...

and I'm still mad running back after nothing...

its time.. and now i realize..

that nothing is so important than our life..

nothing so important than living this moment of our life..

i used to think i can do anything anytime anywhere...

and now i feel the same...

the wind will carry us

and the resistance is our own mind blocks...

the search is always a pursuit if it is gonna be outside YOU..

19th of august is a beautiful day..

and then and now i wish i live in pandora..

this moment is so beautiful...

lots of love

karthik vasan b.

Why the moon is so lonely..

      The gorgeous glowing moon of the earth... so beautiful a view in a dark night...comes alone each night as if it was grooming itself waiting for someone... i had a thought of this for sometime now..

     

       one day i saw the moon rise up so bright and so big.. i was dazzled by its shine.. but then i saw how it got eclipsed on the same night..it was totally absorbed by the earth's shadow... it looked so romantic the lunar eclipse.. the moon was totally in the earth's shadow... the said it was the darkest moment of nights and such an eclipse happens only once in 130 years. the scene looked so romantic with so much passion.. the whole eclipse lasted for 4 hours.. i was seeing it until it got completely eclipsed until it turned into a pale orange colour. it was there again glowing majestically lighting up the sky.then i went into bed with a deep thought... for once i thought the moon got what it wanted..

      

       life is just this.. someone comes and goes throughout our entire span of life. at a moment u think of someone as your life.. and the moment just fades away for many.... the feeling isnt so good when you are alone when someone walks in and walks out.. you remain single at the end of everything.. others are just like the shadows falling on the moon.. the eclipse doesn't last forever.. the romance is so beautiful yet the moon is so lonely... how hard it is to accept this rawness of existence that to accept aloneness is the true way of our life..

       this is the beauty of our existence. there are so many lives in this earth.. so many different species.. the whole energy of the earth is just one yet each individual is independent. dependence is in the way of living.. for food and shelter; for the soul to travel in our very body.. each of us is a moon.. a sun... an earth.. only your own soul can be felt and lived by you.. each of our soul is rooted here on this very earth.. the soul is always here on this earth even before we were here.. only the soul possess the body.... each of our soul is a fragmented energy of the earth.

      

       you don't possess anything.. then how can you go around saying this and that is mine?? watta paradox this life is..  this is the rawness of the nature.. beauty is in the wild.. god is in the wild..

life is beautiful..

this moment is so beautiful.

i know i have left some unfilled words above in those paragraph.. I'm yet to be complete myself.. leave those damn words.. :-) this is always gonna be an incomplete discussion for any incomplete soul.. :-) and i'm always ready for it..

karthik vasan b

Consciousness in a mediocre mind

i can do anything... anytime.. anywhere... " can live anyway " was my way of life..  unconditional way of living it was... never knew wat i was doin.. i never realised i was livin my mind's way.. drinkin and partyin... spendin lavishly... i never had any respect for money anytime. then for a while i thought no.. i gotta live this way or the other... i got to take some serious decisions.. it was such a critical period in my life.. and when i decided a way i was so absorbed in it tat i totally forgot my ways.. it was as if i forgot how to smile.. i u used to drink so tat i get sleep.. every man and woman hav their own difficulties in life.. so its not important tat i mention mine.. if u are so stressed in any way u can relate this to urself... can u imagine a champagne bottled well shaken and ready to explode yet corked... tat was my situation... full of lovely emotions.. unable to express.. i was at the peak of negativity...

deep down im aint so pathetic..  my heart s full of love.. a fun loving guy.. i used to make peopl laugh.. i love seein peopl laugh.. i make wierd noises.. make a bafoon of myself.. do watever it takes to be happy.. one of my close friend once said my smile is so sarcastic cos i used to smile for everythin or i never smile.. my comments on anythin were always reserved. one could hardly judge wat s going in my mind. u wont believ if i say i love to love and play 24hrs a day.. there wasn't anythin so important in my life.. i never desired anythin with so much passion... i am cool living a day filled with love and happiness.. no ambitions.. no future plans.. nothing.. i used to miss my loved ones.. i used to be possessive.. then was wit a conclusion tat those who doesn need me, i don need them for any sake.. but this only added fuel to the misery.. ego took possession of this mediocre mind..

last eight months were so damn miserable.. i don want to write anythin tat s so miserable but there is somethin more important tat i wanna share.. the way i'm stickin my broken pieces... and again not any effort of my mind to live happy.. i should call it a coincidence (cos i don believe in fate..). i started reading Osho's writings... man!! simply mind blowing.. and i call it mind blowing cos tat is exactly wat we should do.. " blow the mind. " i realised tat i gotta live a life with a heart and not frm the mind... i cant really express the transformation im going thro.. i insist u all should try to know urself rather than anythin.. don postpone ur spirituality to ur older ages.. if u got it this is the time... cos i feel when u gain such awareness about urself then facing any difficulty wont be so difficult. trust me.. i havent dropped my mediocre mind yet.. but now im conscious that this mind is mediocre. im aware tat im vulnerable to the past..  i got a way tat im confident tat i can drop it... meditation is the way i found.. im not sure if i could make u believ this s a possibility but Mr Osho simply could.. please read as much of his writings as u could and try to bring meditation into practice.. life will be beautiful.. this very existence will be in a harmony watever the situation is in ur life.. u ll never be lost again..

life is beautiful..

this moment is so beautiful..

love u all..

Karthik Vasan B

Sunrise on a 23rd morning

it was 05:00hrs and i haven't slept yet.. although my eyes were tiring after yesterday's work my mind wasn't letting me sleep.. i gotout of my bed and reached the terrace.. the day started to turn out to be a good one as i fell in love wih the sky above which was slowly changing its colours.. i froze those moments to cherish forever.. it was as though the sky was getting brighter to brighten my thoughts..

THIS IS A TRIBUTE TO THOSE WHO COULD RELATE ME TO 23RDs ;-)

23RD IS A DATE TO BE CELEBRATED IN M LIFE WITH MANY CONTEXTS :-)

OFCOURSE... THERE ARE AS MANY OCCASIONS AS WE CHOOSE TO CELEBRATE...



LOVE YOU ALL

Karthik Vasan B